Friday, 7 October 2011

Fairy tale Friday #14




Well the big day finally arrived yesterday, the wedding of Edna’s daughter. Everyone was up bright and early at the towers, putting the last minute touches to the preparations. Edna was waiting patiently for the beautician to turn up, when she did she arrived in a cement mixer as she said cement was the only thing thick enough to fill Edna's wrinkles.
While Edna was getting beautified the rest of us were busy, busy, busy.

Claire was putting the finishing touches to the dress, she had decided to add lots of sparkle, but had run out of sequins in the early hours of the morning. After a bit of a sleep she had come up with the idea of stitching CD’s around the hem of the dress to bling it up, so she was rushing about collecting up everyone’s CD’s. Debbie really didn’t want to part with her Karaoke collection, but to be honest it was a bit of a relief (to our ears) to see them go.

Gayle was mad busy in the kitchen, every time she managed to get a Haggis in the pot, it jumped out, ran away and hid, in the end we had to feed them potato vodka until they passed out and then quickly throw them in the pot and put the lid on. Gayle thought it would be a good idea to add some of the vodka to the gravy, she thought it would give the meal some oomph!

Security was going to be tight at the wedding as it was going to be covered by that well known society magazine....
Knitting for Nutters,
who wanted to feature Claire’s fabulous knitted wedding dress, they were also offering a free pattern for the Camel Hump Bobble Hats!!!
To make sure we had no unwelcome press attention, we had all been issued with walkie talkies, and divided into teams, one team would be watching over the ceremony, one team would be watching the gate and checking peoples invitations etc., and Jill and Helle would be patrolling the grounds and guarding the perimeter. As Maritha, Hazel and Tammy Louise had just joined us, Gayle had the bright idea of teaming them up with Jill and Helle! The idea was to keep in touch via the walkie talkies and report back any problems or little mishaps that may crop up. Unfortunately Claire lost her walkie talkie a day or two before the wedding, we thought one of the camels may have eaten it when she was in the barn feeding them.

All the guests arrived, including Chrissy from New Zealand a friend of Teddy Bo Towers who had been invited, along with her dog Harry.

We were amazed at how like Edna most of her family were, they seemed to have the same love for black fishnet stockings and white stiletto heels, toothless grins and an array of fantastically coloured wigs, and that was just the men!!!

The wedding started exactly on time, we had managed to persuade Gayle not to play the bagpipes. We told her she would be far too busy in the kitchen, which seemed to work,  but unfortunately Debbie decided she would sing the bride down the aisle instead.  The bride stepped into the chapel looking stunning if a little hot in her dress (I forgot to mention that Claire had knitted it in Aran wool) and started her march down the aisle while Debbie sang ‘My Fart will go on’ that fabulous classic love song from Titanic.

The ceremony went without a hitch until we got to the part where the minister says,
“If anyone knows of any reason why these two shall not be joined in holy matrimony speak now or forever hold your peace”

Suddenly out of nowhere we hear Helle, Jill, Maritha, Laura and Tammy Louise singing ‘Don’t marry her, have me!” (usually sung much more melodically by The Beautiful South). Everyone was looking around to see where the voices were coming from, but there was nobody about, then Edna realised that it was coming from the back of her daughters dress, it turns out the camels hadn’t eaten Claire’s walkie talkie after all, she had gotten it tangled up in the wool when she was knitting the dress and had somehow or other managed to knit it into the bustle.
I ran down to the barn and found Helle, Jill and Co., all drunk on homemade vodka and singing their little hearts out, Helle had fallen over, landed on her bottom, the walkie talkie was in her pocket and she had accidently pushed the 'talk' button.

We managed to calm the situation down and the ceremony continued without mishap, even the reception went pretty well, our biggest problem was Harry, Chrissy’s dog, who ate far too much Haggis (I think everyone was sliding it off their plates and under the table to him, while Gayle wasn’t looking). The Haggis caused a bit of a wind problem and during the best man’s speech there was a lot of parrumping noises coming from Harry’s nether region along with some pretty awful smells, although you couldn't blame the dog for all of them as Edna added a couple too!

Later in the evening after a couple of bottles of vodka each, the dancing started, although we had to unstitch the CD’s from around the bottom of the brides dress first, so we could have some music to dance to.

Tammy ran over all excitedly to tell us she had found her soul mate, it seems she had fallen for Edna’s uncle Albert, we asked her to point him out to us, “that handsome bloke in the sexy drainpipe trousers” she said pointing over to her left, we all looked over and were taken aback when we realised that when she said drainpipe trousers, she didn’t mean those very tight, straight legged trousers the teddy boys used to wear, she meant he actually had a drain pipe on each leg!!!

Claire who had been drinking vodka like it was water was now very, very drunk and started to do the Can Can, (the only dance she knew), as she did one of her high kicks she caught Edna’s brother under the chin with her foot and knocked his dentures out, they flew across the room and hit the groom’s mother right between the eyes! The groom’s family were very upset by this attack and started throwing punches left and right, and before we knew it an almighty fight had broken out. Teeth and hair were flying everywhere (Edna’s family sure know how to use their dentures and wigs as weapons of mass destruction) and before long there were broken noses, and black eyes all around, Edna herself had two lovely matching shiners!

Suddenly there was an unholy screeching sound, the fighting stopped as everyone looked up to see what was happening, only to find Gayle standing on a table blowing on her bagpipes to get everyone’s attention. She announced that the wedding was now over and everyone had to go home immediately!(it was only 6pm). She told Edna to pull herself together, get herself tidied up and see what was left of her guests (some of them had already fled) off the premises.

Edna who could hardly see because her eyes were so swollen, reached down and felt around the floor until her hands came across a hairpiece, she grabbed it, put it on her head and flounced off to the door to say goodbye to everyone, what she didn’t realise was that she had actually picked up Chrissy’s dog Harry, who was sleeping soundly, and she was now walking around with a snoring dog on her head, what was even more amazing was that not one of her relations thought there was anything odd about it!!!

We managed to get everyone safely off the premises, and have a quick tidy around before we finally went to bed, although it did take us ten minutes to convince Edna that she was actually wearing a dog on her head, and that Chrissy wanted him back before she headed home to New Zealand.

Gayle swore that this was the first and last wedding we would ever have at the towers.

This morning on the front page of the local paper was an article, with pictures, all about the events at the wedding,
the headline said,

Fearsome Fighting Forced Frightened Flocks Fleet Flight For Freedom!


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Check out the cards that the design team managed to put together in between their wedding duties.


Jill


TeddyBo_135 from an earlier release, fit perfect for my son who often sit like this...
Coloured with Copics
Papers from a blogcandy that I won, so it's unknown.
letters from Glitz
The celebrate tag is from MF, a metalplate with all boy from making memories

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Edna


I've used Teddybo 139 (1)
My Mind's Eye 'Blink of an eye' dp's
Sentiment is from LOTV
Coloured with Prisma pencils
Sizzix Primitive heart die
Button and metal embellie from stash

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Kathy


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Nicole



I´ve played with TeddyBea_151 *Pretty Butterfly*
I colored with Prismas as always
I´ve choose cardstock in light brown and yellow-orange
backing paper by Bo Bunny
I´ve decorated with rhinestones, punched hearts and butterflies

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Nela





I've pimped for the first time a Paper bag.
I used:
Teddy Bea Pretty Butterfly
Swirl: Marianne Creatables LR0118
Embossing Folder: Craft concepts Gem flourish
Promarkers

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Maritha


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Tammy


Just adore this stamp and with a few babies due soon and not knowing if its a boy or girl, I've decided to colour in lilac's and green's.
Used DCWV Papers - Nana's Nursery.
Whimsy Stamps - Banner Pennant Die Set
" Baby " cut out on my cricut.
Gem's and flowers from Wild Orchid Crafts.


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Claire




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You still have until Sunday 16th October to enter our Favourite Colours challenge and don't forget to check out all the fabulous features we have through the week both here
and at the Teddy Bo Store.

3 comments:

  1. HaHaHaHa.....OH!!! my word, Harry is looking at me like I've lost the plot...I was laughing so much and reading out loud to him....thank you, thank you, for having us at the wedding of the year...I have never had so much fun...I can just see Edna with my dog on her head...Fantastic post...just loved it.

    I came shopping today at your online store and finally have some digis to play with...so really looking forward to joining in your challenge.
    Thanks again for the best yet...

    Luv CHRISSYxx

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  2. LOL, oh I'm so glad I'm in my little hobit hole on my own........... the tears of laughter are pooring down my face, what a fab story, and thank you for allowing us to join in a wedding to surpass all others........... :Brilliant. I have managed to get a couple of digis and have had a play recently, and am hoping to join in your challenge .............. Have to fav colours ......... so hard to choose. Anyway Hugs..

    Lisa x

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  3. I came over from Chrissy's blog...and love this story..made me laugh a lot even though I don't know anyone....
    Claire x

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