Friday, 27 January 2012

Fairy Tale Friday #29




There was a knock at the door of the towers on Tuesday of this week and to our surprise, standing there, was a very bedraggled looking Edna, no hair, no teeth and wearing nothing more than a spangly bikini and six inch high stiletto heels (not much changed there then).

Nicole and Nela had collected all the stuff Edna hadn't taken when she went to Vegas and piled it into the attic, so they ran up and found her a set of dentures and a nice mauve wig.

Over a couple of glasses of Watercress Whisky (Jill and Helle’s new brew, in preparation for our Burns Night Supper, - a big celebration in Scotland) Edna told us why she had ended up returning to the towers.

It seems that Wrinkly Willy, already had a girl in Vegas, she was a member of a rival Pole dancing troupe called the Pensioners of Pleasure, and her name was Provocative Pru, the Princess of Passion!
It seems Pru found out about Edna playing with Wrinkly Willy’s pistol and didn’t like it at all, so she turned up at the club one night, just as Edna was doing one of her most complicated pole dancing moves which involved hanging upside down from the pole. Pru grabbed Edna by the hair, which came off in her hand, so she grabbed her by her spangly bra top, which also came off in her hand! Edna’s boobs immediately drooped over her eyes so that she couldn’t see what was happening. Pru dragged her from the pole and flung her across the room (she was the size of a sumo wrestler, so Edna had no chance). Edna’s teeth flew out of her mouth and landed with a plop into one of the customer’s drinks and to Edna’s embarrassment she landed on the head of another customer, slid down his face,(she was still greasy from the baby oil they use to grease the pole) and plopped into his lap. He jumped up in shock and she slipped to the floor, knocking the table over as she went, and ending up covered in beer, ribs and coleslaw (he was just about to eat).
Edna looked up to find Pru standing over her holding tightly to Wrinkly Willy’s pistol and aiming straight between Edna’s eyes. She told Edna to get out of Vegas and keep away from Wrinkly Willy or Edna would find herself with his pistol right where the sun don’t shine!!!
Edna was marched to the airport at gunpoint and booked on to the next flight to Scotland, she was still wearing her pole dancing outfit and had no other clothes with her.

Unfortunately Edna seems to have an aversion to the bears since she got back and runs from the room screaming if one of them goes near her. It seems Pru is totally covered in a thick layer of honey brown hair and looks like a big scary teddy bear, so at the moment Edna is keeping well away from anything bear like, because they give her nightmares!

On Wednesday we had our Burns Night Supper, as it was a traditional Scottish celebration, Claire decided to give Gayle the night off and said she would prepare the food and sort everything out. Of course Edna wanted to help too, as she wanted to make herself useful.

We all sat in the great hall which was decorated with lots of tartan, apart from Tammy’s table which of course was decorated with rubber. We were asked to stand up while the Haggis was being piped in, Liz and Kirsty-Anne played a tune on the bagpipes while Claire carried in a silver tray, held high above her head, followed by Edna who was going to address the Haggis and Helle who carried a tray containing three glasses of Watercress Whisky, one for each of them for the toasting of the Haggis.
We all clapped our hands in time to the music until the tray was placed on a large table at the head of the room and Claire with great aplomb lifted the lid from the tray to show us the Haggis.
Unfortunately Claire being a great animal lover, hadn’t had the heart to kill and cook the Haggis, so he sat there on the tray staring at us all sadly, with his three little eyes, a tear silently falling from the middle one, his two short inside legs folded across his chest and his two longer outside ones curled up underneath him, his hairy toes just peeping out.
Claire just carried on regardless, telling us it was now time for Edna to Address the Haggis.
Edna looking very elegant in tartan leggings and a bra top made from two sporrans, walked quickly up to the Haggis, looked him in the eyes and said in her poshest voice –
Haggis, your address is
Teddy Bo Towers
Teddy Bo Lane
Teddy Bo-ville
Scotland.
Turned to us all, took a bow and tottered off  in her very high heels, towards Helle.

Next Claire announced  it was time for the Haggis’s Toast, we all stood and raised our glasses, but Claire went over to the table, lifted a cover off another tray and gave the Haggis a piece of lovely thick, hot toast dripping with butter, which he took gratefully and started to devour with great joy and lots of lip smacking.

Gayle who up until this point had been too dumbfounded to speak, asked Claire what on earth she was doing, Claire replied that she had googled Burns night Supper and it said that the Haggis had to be piped in, addressed and then given a toast and that was exactly what she had done, was there a problem?

Gayle gulped her Whisky down and stomped from the room shaking her head and muttering some very rude words, Liz and Kirsty-Anne following behind, flouncing their kilts as they went.

I think that will probably be the last time Gayle will allow anyone else to arrange The Burns Night Supper!





There hasn't been much work done in the towers this week as we have been too busy catching up with Edna and all her news, but we do have a few cards to show you.


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Maritha
I have done some "layers" so it´s a bit 3D


Swedish babypoem


TeddyBo_174
Jack and Jill papers
I do know that die is a snowflake(just telling) but it´s SO CUTE,that i use it as a flower to! =)


Hugs Maritha!
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Jill
Image: TEDDYBO_174
Coloured with Copic markers
Papers from Pion and MME
Little bearcharms from a friend
Metal tabs from 7gypsies
Pearls, ribbon and string from stash

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I´ve played with *Cupid Bo*
Colouring as always with Prismas
sentiment by HeroArts
cardstock from Bazzill
design paper Maja Design
Martha Stewart edge punch, heart punch from EK Success
embellies: lace and buttons
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Colette
I used one of Gayle's Wonderland Stamps for my first attempt at Steampunk and I'm really pleased with the way it turned out.
Image - WS_019_Queen of Hearts-Coloured in Photoshop
Background paper - Indygochild Victorian Steampunk
Geared Heart and Flowers - This be me scraps - Steampunked
Cogs and gears from an old clock
Sentiment mat - Xcut nesting dies-ornate bookplate


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Clairebears x 

 

I have used TeddyBea-181, and coloured with Promarkers. I have used papers that I got from Tesco's ages ago and think it works so well! The buttons are from my button box as is the flower in her hair!

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Tammy

Thank you Jill for the inspiration - I'm totally loving this style card. Got my second one on the go too.

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You still have just over a week left to enter our Anything Goes challenge, the lucky winner will receive 10 Teddy Bo and Co digital images of their choice!


Have a lovely weekend
Colette and the gang!

4 comments:

  1. hahahahahahahahah....ooo my head hurts...toast the haggis...too much fun to even start to chat aout this post...sometimes....no all the time when reading these stories I am in the room and can see it all..fantastic...

    Luv CHRISSYxx

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  2. Another brilliant tale - so funny! I hope poor Gayle has recovered from the Burns Night fiasco!?! (No wonder Scotland want to break away from us!) And now thanks to you Colette, everytime I see a haggis on tv, I get an image of a little thing with three eyes running around on little legs with hairy toes. All great fun though!!!
    Love, Karen xx

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  3. You will be glad to know that the wee haggis is now snuggled under my bed keeping me black cat cougar company. 100% pure genius Colette,
    HUgs
    H xx

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  4. It's so good to be home! They don't have hairy haggis in Vegas. :)

    Edna x

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Teddy Bo & Bea LOVE to hear what you think...your opinion is VERY important to them...xxxx