Friday, 2 March 2012

Fairy Tale Friday #34




There was great excitement in the towers today as Edna received a letter from her Uncle Humphrey, catching her up on everything that was happening back home.
We really look forward to his letters, and Edna reads it out loud to us all, while we are eating our breakfast, this morning we enjoyed Haggis crumpets, topped with Haggis marmalade, yummy!

Here is the letter;

My dearest Edna,

I haven’t written to you for a while as I haven’t been feeling too good. I went to the doctors, and told him that when I touch my shoulder it hurts, when I touch my elbow it hurts, when I touch my knee it hurts, when I touch my face it hurts, everywhere I touch it hurts. “Oh that’s simple” the doctor replies, “You’ve got a broken finger”

I do hope you haven’t been trying to contact us by phone, because we’ve been having a few problems, Horace the pig was struck by lightning in the bad storm we had recently, he flew up in the air, and landed on the telephone wire, he was well and truly roasted, unfortunately we now have crackling on the line.

I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her

Uncle Wilf and Aunty Enid's baby has finally arrived. Wilf called the hospital when Enid went into labour, he was panicking and shouted down the phone, "Help, my wife is in labour!"
The nurse said, "Calm down sir, is this her first child?"
Wilfred replied, "No. This is her husband."

When he took her to the hospital to give birth, the doctor told them that he'd developed a new machine and asked if they'd like to try it. The machine would take some of Enid's pain away and give it to the father thereby easing the mothers burden.
They thought it was a good idea and agreed to give it a try.
The Doc set it on 10% to begin with, telling Wilf that 10% was still probably more pain than he had ever felt before. Wilf was surprised at how little pain he was actually feeling and asked for it to be increased. The doctor turned it up to 20% with the same results. This trend continued until the machine was set at 100%.
After the delivery both mother and father felt fine. Enid was relieved at having an almost painless labour and Wilf was still amazed at how little pain was actually involved.  Later, when they took the baby home, they found the milkman dead on their doorstep.

They’ve recently had the baby Christened his name is 'Glug Glug'. The vicar fell in the font!

An envelope came through the door today and it was marked 'PLEASE DO NOT BEND'. I still haven't worked out how I am supposed to pick it up.

Uncle Albert got a new job, but gave it up after a week, he was designing Cul-de-Sacs, but said it was a dead end job.

My wife came home from work in tears and asked me to console her. So I hit her over the head with my X-Box.

Aunty Gertie went out for some shopping the other day, she said she would be half an hour, six hours later we sent Billy to the shop to look for her, he found her standing staring at a carton of Orange Juice, because it said concentrate!

Cousin Hugo went into the pub with a salmon under his arm, he asked the barman, “do you do fishcakes?” the barman shakes his head, “Oh what a shame” says Hugo, “It’s his birthday”

Every morning I take my wife tea in my pyjamas, she loves it, but the pyjamas are getting a bit soggy.

My brother Ernie has two black eyes and a broken nose, it seems his wife Betty was standing naked in front of him and said to him, "I look horrible. I feel fat and ugly. Please pay me a compliment." He replied, "Your eyesight is perfect." She floored him with one punch.

Cousin Henry went to one of those wife-swapping party’s last week, he got a smashing alternator for his van.

Great aunt Veronica has just finished that jigsaw puzzle you sent her, it took her six months to complete, she is very pleased with herself because it says ‘2 to 4 years’ on the box!

You’ll be pleased to know that Percy has a new job, he has five hundred men under him … he’s cutting the grass at the cemetery.

Well I’m going to sign off now as there isn’t much news at this time, nothing out of the normal has happened here.

Your loving uncle.

PS I was going to send you some money for your birthday, but I had already sealed the envelope!

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Another great Humphrey letter, we are already looking forward to the next one.


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Let's take a look at this weeks fabulous creations from the girls.




Jill
I have made a calendar for my sister
Image is TEDDYBOBEA_099 BEA_3
Coloured with Copics markers
Created the clouds with the markers too (really happy with them!)
DP: Pion and MME
Flowers: Storyteller, WOC and Kort og Godt
Machinestiched all the panels
Calendar sheets from Debbie :)


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Nela


I´ve used:
Bea in the meadow
Spellbinder Fleur des lis
Copics
Paper from Nitwit
Creatables English rose


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Debbie




Image : TEDDYBO_183
Paper : Back To Basics III
Tools : Tim Holtz Doily Die
Sentiment: Craftwork Cards


There's candy on my blog if you would like to go and have a look.
I'm celebrating the anniversary of me giving up smoking.


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Kirsty-Anne



Teddybea_182
K  & Co / Kaisercraft /Cricut Pastels Papers
Martha Stewart Punch / Cricut Craftroom
Craft Concepts Embossing Folders
Vellum
Blossoms pearls - WOC
Pink Flowersoft


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Renee



Teddybobea_11 image
colored with promarkers
clear star gellyroll pen
stampin up rub ons


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Claire

I have coloured it with my new shhhh pencils lol!
I have cut the shapes on my Silhouette, and the flowers too.
The papers are from Sundae of Seasons CD (I love the striped paper!)

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I decided to make a pop-out stepper, as the last one of these I made was before Christmas 2010! although I did decide to try a circular version instead of the usual square/rectangle, really liked the way it turned out.
Image - TBB_111 - coloured in Photoshop
Papers - Clipart Fairy - A big hug
Die cut heart - Joy Craft - 6003/0005
Butterflies - X-cut punch
Border - Martha Stewart - half daisy border punch.
Metallic cord, charms, gem and gingham buttons - MeiFlower


Image - TB_029 - coloured in photoshop
Papers - Clipart Fairy - Stripes, Gorgeous 2, Argyle - Yummy 6
Ribbon, pearls and cord - MeiFlower.


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Maritha
TeddyBO_183
Whimsey stamp die and text
Maja Design paper
Prima papers(Londonerry)

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There is only a couple of days left to get your entries in for our Pearls and Swirls challenge, you have until Midnight GMT Sunday 4th March, don't forget to enter if you want to be in with a chance of winning the fabulous Teddy Bo Ten.


See you next time
Colette and the gang xx

2 comments:

  1. Oh! dear...that was so funny, fancy having an uncle like that, it would drive you crazy...mmm...but we are talking Teddy Bo towers..lol..gorgeous cards again girls..really beautiful work.

    Luv CHRISSYxx

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  2. I know I am a bit late in posting this comment - don't know how I missed this FTF. Oh my goodness, I have had such a giggle at Uncle Humphrey's letter, it has cheered me up - thanks for sharing it!?! I wonder if pigs getting struck by lightning is a regular occurrence, I too have crackling on my phone line!?! All the cards are wonderful - beautifully coloured in, and I love Jill's clouds created with Copic markers - amazing!

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